I know - it’s a bit strange. Usually Wiccans who are ex- tend to “jump ship” as they are for the most part deeply religious people. I quit practicing because of Wiccan Fundamentalism and general personality disorders of other members of the community.

When I was in University, I was a casual member of a group that helped to combat cults on campus. These cults were for the most part Christian and preyed on international students. When I got out of University, I found a Wiccan group that I thought fit everything that I was looking for, and it really did at the time. High scholarly standards, good people, and a laid back, casual attitude about things like degrees and general ass-kissing of the priesthood. The latter is what really sold me on the group.

After the death of the primary leader (she would have hated to have herself referred to as Grand Poobah, even though she was) her spouse attempted to take over the group on his own, and did a number of things that were really out of keeping with the initial high standards of the group (ie he gave a student who was taking a first degree test a dedication test - and he didn’t know the difference). He also sought out a more “famous” profile in the public community than you are supposed to really keep up if you are a member/leader of a private group, and started hanging out with people who were really into having their egos stroked rather than actually teaching someone Craft.

He had started this process before her death, telling her that they would just be doing things once in a while. It was hardly that. They ended up being out at public events more than 4 times a month, much more than the amount that she had really committed too. I partially blame her death on this as she had numerous medical conditions that she really needed to pay attention to, rather than giving all of her energies to other people. I was frequently derided for bringing her home early, being a “doorstop” so that these people couldn’t get at her, and I got tired of it after a while and just stopped doing it.

Her funeral sickened me. Everyone there was talking about Wicca, what would happen to the public community now that she was gone, etc. Not very many people were actually mourning her. They were all just trying to position themselves as showing the most grief for her passing in some weird form of passion play in order to gain some kind of credence/status in the community. At one point, my partner offered to take her partner home, and was informed that he was in a high level discussion with a Third Degree Priestess and so was unavailable. What business did they have conducting this kind of discussion at a wake? Exactly.

I kept my books even though I no longer practice because I paid a fortune for them, and really am not quite ready to part with them yet (although I am selling off some of the crappier ones to make room in my new small place). Am I still Wiccan? Absolutely not. I would not identify with this group anymore just solely based on the fact that I have seen the worst of human nature, and it has all been displayed by Wiccans. All of the hippie principles of peace, love, an ye harm none, and all of that claptrap are only given lip service by the majority of Wiccans. When it actually comes to making good on any of these promises (ie doing things for people, helping people out, making sure that friends have the tools that they need to do well) I’ve only known one Wiccan who did this and she is dead. The rest are involved in some odd grown-up Dungeons & Dragons game that only they know the rules too.

Now I am sure that this article will make me the subject of derision by the rosy-eyed, new Wiccans who think that everything is peace and love. For you guys, I would say this. Make sure that the private group that you are looking to get involved with has been around for at least 5 years. Check that the coven leaders are financially viable and are not going to rely on membership for funds. Asking for coven dues for feasts, etc. is acceptable, asking members to cover your bills or always pay for your drinks/meals/nights out is not. I haven’t even begun to get into the financial problems that I experienced at the hands of these so-called spiritual leaders, and I think that would take away from the purpose of this article.

To go back to my experience with cults in University, I really have to identify not Wicca in general as a cult, but the community/group that I was part of as a cult. I even had a member tell me that if any of the financial issues went to court, I couldn’t bring up the fact that Wicca was a cult. I don’t know how much more proof I needed that that particular flavour of Wicca was indeed a cult than someone telling (not asking) me to not say that, ever, in a court of law. I was also told that it was against Wiccan law to bring another Wiccan “before the eyes of the law” on any matter whatsoever. I don’t know about these people, but one of the bonuses that I always found great about Wicca is that it HAS NO DOGMA. These people were basically making this crap up to try to keep me from asserting my rights over my own property and finances.

I was definitely “love-bombed” at first, drawn in and indoctrinated, and then taken advantage of personally and financially. All of these items make a cult. And yes, I was stupid enough to join it and get indoctrinated knowing everything that I knew about cults. In my defense, I have to say that when my friend who died was around it wasn’t so much like a cult, although her spouse definitely starting pointing it that way in the 2+ years leading up to her death and then went full bore at it after she was gone.

I think I still self-identify as Pagan to a certain scholarly extent rather than as a product of blind faith. I find it hard to give up belief in ancestral divinity and archetypes, but I think these qualify more as a psychological idea than as belief systems. To me Wicca is very much like Christianity - it has gotten so far away from the core beliefs and principles (which are few enough that it shouldn’t be too hard) that it can no longer represent itself as the same religion in most communities. If you have the perfect Wiccan coven and you have for years, wonderful. I suspect that you don’t though.

What really surprised me about my own personal situation was that people that I had considered true friends just automatically sided with the coven leaders, even knowing what they knew about what had transpired, and knowing and agreeing with me that it wasn’t right. My spouse has been threatened physically (not that he couldn’t defend himself but just illustrating a point), I have been portrayed as over the top crazy even though I was probably the most psychologically and financially stable person in the community, and other things besides that just make me sad to write about.

Would I go back to Wicca? No. Would I recommend Wicca? Frankly, no. Solitary practice, maybe, but even then you end up getting mixed up with some questionable people who you don’t need in your life. I have pretty much decided that any religion that involves any kind of group dynamic whatsoever is prone to fundamentalism and power-mongering. It is human nature, and yes, even the nature of Wiccans.

Just a word in advance about comments on this article - I won’t be publishing anything that consists of “Wika iz da funk, ewz is crezy :0″. If you have an intelligent rebuttal to this article, submit it as a comment and I will publish it and my response as a separate article. If you have your own stories to share, let me know and I’ll set you up as an author on my blog so that you can publish your own story about being an ex-anything to this blog directly.

Posted: April 18th, 2008 under Uncategorized, Wicca & Paganism.
Comments: 2