A Bit of My Life » Dating As PVP

Dating As PVP

I was wondering when the anti-feminist backlash would hit.

Then I read “AskMen.com”.

OK, granted, a lot of women fit into the spoiled, selfish, insecure and jealous stereotypes that the dating section of this site makes them out to be. The only problem with the theories, systems, and tips on this site is – they don’t account for the women who aren’t like that.

When I was dating I know I was the somewhat hapless testing ground for some of these theories. I would date a guy once, feel like there was no interest, and then he would start calling me or IM’ing me out of the blue like he really was interested. Coming from the school of mixed signals = potential bipolar syndrome, I usually didn’t give these guys a second chance. I think these systems are designed for men who love shallow bitches and want to trap them into a relationship, like a hunter with prey. And that is somewhat laudable, because a woman who thinks that she can treat guys like crap regularly deserves to have the tables turned on her.

How many guys who aren’t looking for these types of women are using these techniques and bombing consistently with kind, caring women who are normal? That’s my question about the tips offered on this site. Are men really so scared that women think that they are superior to them that they have to resort to guerrilla dating tactics to find their one true love? I prefer a chivalrous knight to a sandanista dating warrior anyday, and I am sure most women out there agree with me. Even the bitches.

I guess the target market for this site is 18-25 year olds, who aren’t really thinking about anything past their fly for the moment. Which is fine. The more, the merrier, in my view of the world. For my part, I probably don’t understand the other side of the fence, which seems like an easy place to be for me. You go out with friends, you see a nice girl, you talk to her, take her out on a date or two, and you have your fun. This site takes that seemingly simple sequence of events and turns it into a weird version of the “Art of War”. Don’t women overthink this stuff enough? Do men have to start doing it too?

This overcomplication of dating for men has a few profitable sidebars – the clothing industry benefits, the male grooming industry benefits, and a few billion are made off of the insecurity of men. Actually, viewed from a marketing perspective, “The System” is positively brilliant. Make men think that they are macho and in control of the situation, but at the same time program them with the insecurities that overthinking the dating situation always leads to. The style guru in “Wag the Dog” couldn’t have come up with a more pervasive conspiracy to increase the consumption habits of the previously unconcerned male.

When I met a guy that didn’t have any ulterior motives, didn’t try to hide anything about himself, and didn’t put on an act to be a player, I fell in love with him. I think my advice to all of you guys out there who are trying to find a lady is to slow it down – stop overthinking – and start being yourself. You will be amazed at how many genuine women you actually do attract. More importantly, the crazy ones will leave you alone because you are no longer systemizing them.

Lets not forget the dark side of “The System” and the women that it is aiming for. Crazy women press charges. Yes, they do. They really do. I am willing to bet that if you practice “The System” long enough, you will end up with paternity suits, rape allegations, and generally everything that a genuine crazy chick can throw at you. Is it really worth it to get your dinky stinky a little more often than the average Joe?

My other concern is that feminism has fostered this kind of reaction from the mainstream male. To me, feminism is about being treated like a guy would be treated. To the writers of AskMen.com, it is a very scary and emasculating word. Why? Probably because crazy psycho women portray themselves as feminists and ruin it for the rest of us. This is the most deeply troubling aspect of this site to me. Equality for women across the board will never exist as long as men have this stereotype stuck in their heads. Women have become the enemy, the trophy, the prey. In fact, dating to these guys just seems like a giant PVP session with real emotions and sex as the weapons to use, rather than a +4 Ogreslayer. And that is just weird.

Posted: March 22nd, 2008 under State of Women.
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