When I was working in the corporate world, RRSP’s were the only tax break available to me. It was the only way that I could not pay tax for the year. I would rather put the money in an RRSP than give it to Revenue Canada, and that is how I justified it.

A couple of years ago, a family member was affected by new rules on income trusts put in place by the Canadian government by a party that is supposed to stand for no government controls on finances, except of course where it suits them. After this infraction, I will never again trust any retirement plan.

The problem is that the government will always see any accumulated nest egg as a potential source of taxation income. Those nest eggs get too tasty after a while. In my generation alone we’ve seen the introduction of RRIF’s, a secondary “wash” for your RRSP money so that the government can get more of a taste, and the elimination of income trusts. The bottom line is that I no longer trust the government when it comes to my retirement savings.

If you are employed full-time, start a part-time business. This will allow you to enjoy near-equivalent tax breaks to getting an RRSP. It will be more work and you may need an accountant to manage it, but it is perfectly legal. Talk to your accountant about other ways to save for retirement; there are much better ways than crappy mutual funds that you are forced to select as your only option when your money is locked into an RRSP.

Last week, I met with a hepatologist, or liver specialist. He had the pleasing news that my liver was functioning normally, but that I had to lose 20 lbs to keep it working that way. Right now, my liver enzyme levels are elevated over normal.

This has mostly to do with a lack of exercise. My diet has changed enough in the last year that I am no longer gaining weight, but I am not losing it either. Here are my realistic changes that I will be trying to stick to.

1. Do 20 Minutes of Non-Stationary Housework a Day
Putting away clothes, doing laundry, mopping, sweeping, scrubbing. All workouts, and all necessary to making my living and working environment look better. Dishes don’t count since I’m just standing in one place.

2. Do 10-30 Minutes of Wii Fit a Day
Even if it is a downer day, I’ll squeeze in 10 minutes of yoga.

3. Eat Breakfast
Not just cereal, but a proper and large breakfast with eggs involved somehow. Have spinach on hand so I can add it into my scrambled eggs or omelette for an iron boost.

4. Meat and Veg
Have fresh veggies, at least one, at each meal. Fruit throughout the day as a snack.

5. Salmon
At least once a week, and take fish oil in the morning to feel full.

The most important lifestyle pledges are obviously #1 and #2. Housework as exercise may seem like a copout, but something is always better than nothing. Fingers crossed that I’ll be down to a size 16 by the summer and a 14 by the fall. I managed to lose 5 pounds from November to now, so this goal is not out of sight.

I’ve been spending the last couple of years kicking myself in the brain for being involved in a fringe religion for most of my teen and adult life. The process of deprogramming myself has been somewhat painful and I finally reached a milestone last week when I packed up all of my old books, in three huge boxes, and am ready to give them away to someone.

One of my big questions to myself has been why, as an intelligent individual, I was involved with Wiccans for so long. The best answer I could come up with is that at every stage of the game except the last one, in which I had the misfortune of getting tangled up with really the lowest forms of humanity you can imagine, I had great friends who were good people who were also Wiccan.

Reconnecting with one of them on Facebook has shown me just how awesome she still is. She rescues puppies, writes books about animal behaviour, and is just generally one of the coolest women on earth. Another does exceptionally cool work in the tech field and is a pure pleasure to be around. Another was my best friend growing up and I have to say that I miss him terribly and all of the crazy stuff we used to get up to.

In the end, it isn’t Paganism or Wicca itself that is evil. It is just that it attracts people who are polar; either very good or very bad people. The very bad people feed off of the very good people, and so goes the dynamic of really any organized religion. Like it or not, that is what Wicca has become. It has self-organized into this weird hierarchy that doesn’t make any sense, and nearly always puts the very bad people in charge. I believe that good can exist outside of that structure and that faith in the human condition rather than faith in pretend deities is really more of what life is all about.

So to all my Wiccan and ex-Wiccan friends, I know I’ve been harshing your mellow in the last couple of years. I just ask you to understand that what happened to me was bad enough that I just painted the entire group with the same brush for a while, and I am well aware that some of you are beautiful and unique under all that stuff. I still think Wicca in southern Ontario is composed of a nest of vipers, criminals, and pedophiles but those of you that don’t participate in the drama or stupidity are awesome.

I recently reread “The Vampire Lestat” and thought it was complete ass on the second go round. However, it had many things that the current popular vampire series completely lacks, such as plots that make sense, halfway decent writing, and a complete lack of glitter.

1. Bad Writing

While most English majors would argue that most bestselling fiction is poorly written, I would be the exception to that rule. I find clear, concise writing that people actually read to be more valuable and worthy than expertly crafted metaphors that nobody will understand. Yes, Ulysses by James Joyce is a masterwork. Will anyone else but a lit freak appreciate it? Probably not.

Starting from the point that I think Stephen King is awesome, sweet Jesus on a Popsicle stick, the writing in Twilight is godawful. I mean barfingly awful. I mean so horrid that I wouldn’t wipe my ass with it for fear that it would give me literary AIDS. Holy fucking shit.

2. Weak Female Lead

While I get that Bella was supposed to be an everywoman that every horny teenage girl could identify with, damn that girl was one weak lady. There’s been enough said on this on other sites that I won’t go on about it, but Twilight’s Bella makes the happy hooker in Pretty Woman look like Sigourney Weaver in Alien 3 – the one where she shaves her head and jokes with hardened prisoners.

3. Bella Spends Entire Movie Needing a Ventolin Mask

The amount of hyperventilation, breath-catching and cut-off words coming out of that actress should have seen Edward flying her to emergency to be seen by a respiratory technician, not inviting the obviously sick Bella out to play fucking baseball.

4. Sparkling. Fucking. Vampires.

When I first heard that the vampires in Twilight glittered in the sunlight, I laughed for about a minute straight. Then the person who told me had to convince me that they weren’t joking. Then, I laughed harder. The movie reaches an orgasmic comedy point when Edward reveals his sparkly boy-chest, especially since someone in the world is supposed to think that his barely post-pubescent body is supposed to be made hotter through the use of glitter. Hey, dumbshits, the last time I saw gratuitous use of glitter on men, it was at a drag show in Toronto. Just saying. Which brings us to the next point…

5. Edward is Straight? For Real?

Um…. no. From my first look at young Robert’s impersonation of the doomed young vampire, my gaydar was klaxoning out of control. I can only imagine that Bella’s blood smells so good to him because she’s been bathing in the pee of Adam Lambert, Brad Pitt, or whoever the boys are loving these days for the past ten years of her life. Their hormones have then seeped into her DNA, thus making her attractive to Edward.

6. Nobody Notices that We Live in a Freaking Mansion and Drive Impossibly Expensive Cars.

My parents grew up in a small town. If someone in that small town had the kind of amassed wealth that was evident in the Cullen compound, they would be the subject of endless town gossip. It wouldn’t matter how far back in the woods they lived, someone would notice the Mercedes SUV in the sea of Mercury Topazes and say “Hey, I wonder how those rich folks got all their money!”. Since vampires don’t seem to have powers of mass human persuasion in the Twilight world, there goes that explanation.

7. Fighting Involves Gyrating Like a Hooker About to Score Meth

Twilight’s vampires seem to have perfected a mode of Kung Fu known as “Sexy Fighting” in which they grind and gyrate like they are at a vampire bar while trying to kick the living snot out of their opponents. Which would be disarming if their opponents weren’t doing it too. I wasn’t really sure if Edward and the baddie at the end of the first movie weren’t going to kiss after hissing at each other and making snarling noises. In real life that would have totally happened.

I’ll come up with more, I’m sure, if I can manage to choke down the entire series. That is, if I want to devote precious hours of my life to complete brain rape.

Here’s the thing, GG. I’ve been really good this past year, volunteering my time to help people set up their websites, working hard, and generally launching my writing career into the stratosphere. That took a lot of work.

After all that work, GG, I think I need a break. I mean, if you took one look at my Economic Action Plan, you would know that I am the type to get things done. If by getting things done you meant shopping.

So, Your Majesty (I’m too lazy to look up the honorific, plus I am on extreme cold medication), please grant me a proroguing of my life until March. This much needed break with coincide well with the fact that I know I’ll be winning the lottery in that month.

Awaiting your answer with bated breath, I remain,

Common Canadian in Need of Proroguing.

If you are on a budget, or even if you’re not and you want to save oodles of money on an everyday expense, it is necessary to educate yourself in proper grocery shopping.

I took some business classes and one of the most eye-opening seminars was from a business consultant who frequently does work for businesses like Price Waterhouse Coopers. Part of his presentation on finding money for your business involved grocery shopping. He doesn’t make an inconsiderable amount of money, and he was shocked by how much money he saved by economizing just a little. His mother came to stay with him and his wife, and the first day she was there she offered to go grocery shopping for them and help out with the household a bit. Our accountant friend had always just frequented the local Toronto Loblaws, as it was easiest to navigate and get to.

The mother went to the Loblaws as suggested and was blown away by the prices. She decided to do a quick survey; she stopped people on the street in the neighbourhood and asked them all if they lived there and if so, where they shopped. Most of them directed her to the local “No Frills”, where she went to conduct a standard weekly grocery buy for the young couple. This research netted them a savings of 100.00 per week.

Distinguish Premium from Regular
In the world of grocery stores, there are premium and there are regular grocery stores. The premium stores are generally easier to get to, have more parking, and are easier to navigate. They also make lots of money from high markup items like store-made sushi, salads, and baked goods. If you avoid the stores, you avoid the high markup items, and drastically trim your grocery bill.

That’s not all. Being an accountant, our friend did an Excel spreadsheet of the cost of regular household items at various stores, including convenience stores. His findings were interesting. On average, the “regular” grocery stores such as No Frills and Price Chopper were cheaper, and the “Premium” grocery stores like Loblaws and Fortinos were always higher. However, corner stores were cheaper on more common items like milk, which he postulated was an attempt to get you into the store.

Don’t Shop at The Corner
Unless it is Christmas and it is the only place open, don’t do your grocery shopping at the corner store. A lot of people with less money and no means of transportation go this way to save time, when in fact a small amount for bus fare can save you $20.00 on one grocery buy, even if you are closer on the bus route to a premium store. The exception would be for items like milk, as noted above.

Go During The Day
Most moms picking up their kids from school drop by the grocery store between 3:30 and 5:00. If you can make it earlier in the morning, say around 11:00, you’ll have access to items on the discount racks that are fresh and abundant. Don’t go right when the store opens as you want to give them a chance to stock the discount racks. Bread, baked goods and fruit and vegetables can all be obtained cheaply with this strategy, and some items are usually so fresh they’ll last a week in a fridge. You can freeze bread so if you get a deal, buy two loaves and freeze one. This strategy works effectively at both premium and regular grocery stores.

Where You Shop is Not A Status Symbol
Some people think it “sounds bad” to say that they shop at a discount grocery store. Nobody cares about where you shop. In fact, in these harsh economic times, it has become fashionable to pinch pennies.

Evaluate What You Buy Often – Is There a Cheaper Alternative?
Items like taco seasoning and Hamburger Helper can be made for far less money at home, unless they are on sale. Butter chicken, a staple for a lot of people now that Indian food is more popular, tastes better when made from Patak’s butter chicken paste, cream, and water, rather than expensive butter chicken sauce. Paste goes a lot further for about the same price as the sauce.

Shop at Wal-Mart
Yeah, I wrote that. Wal-Mart not only has staple items for far less money, such as hamburger and chicken, but they carry a wide array of organic products. These organic products range from milk to yogurt to bananas, and your local grocery store may have more of a variety, but they can’t match the price.

Why, do you ask, am I even writing a blog posting on saving money on groceries? When I was a student, I just didn’t have to economize, I had to make a dollar stretch so far you’d think it was a Cenobite (obscure Hellraiser reference there, I know). This meant that my one day off was spent taking the subway to Queen and Broadview to buy my meat at the cheapest and best meat shop in Toronto, and dry goods from the store right next to it. I have no idea if they are still open, it’s been about 15 years. It was a game to see how much money I could save over Toronto grocery store prices, and I won.

Today, everyone has to economize, even if they are upper middle class families. Nobody knows when the next layoff is coming or how much they may need for an emergency. Groceries are an obvious and easy place to cut expenses. Good luck chopping your budget!

Hi There:

I sent the following letter yesterday, and thought I should follow it up with a thank you letter for agreeing to disassociate Sarah Palin with Hamilton Health Sciences. While I understand that those at a higher level in your executive and administration may be grumbling over the immediate lost funds, I hope that this action signifies that you understand the damage that such an appearance would have long-term on the Hamilton Health Sciences brand.

It is important that a Canadian organization never be seen as supporting those who believe in the privatization of health care, and I am very glad that you made the decision to not support these viewpoints by not being a beneficiary of Palin’s speech. I’m sure there are many more like me who are not writing you letters about it, as people are more likely to write letters when they are angry than when they are satisfied with an outcome. You can count me as back on board with the HHS brand.

When I was about eight years old, my weekends consisted of bike rides on the many trails in Ottawa. My mother and I used to take a number of different trails, our favourites being along the Ottawa River and the Rockcliffe Parkway. After biking on one of these trails, we came to a never-before-discovered lake that appeared to have a swimming hole, as people were swimming there. Having not brought our suits, we resolved to come back the next day with them. There were no “No Trespassing” or other signs that we could see.

We were very excited about this, my mother as she liked to swim, and myself because I was eight and it all seemed like a grand adventure. I couldn’t believe that there was a pristine lake in the middle of Ottawa that a girl could swim in that wasn’t teeming with people. We were about to find out why.

The next day we got up early, put on our swimsuits under our clothes, and tucked towels into our baskets on our bikes. We tore off in the direction of the new discovery hell bent for election. It is here where I should interject and give you, the reader, the lay of the land that was 1980’s Ottawa, and to a large extent still is today. Ottawa isn’t just the home of politicians and erstwhile software companies. Back then, if you were someone who wanted to be seen, you bought a house in Rockcliffe Park. This meant that a few old money types hung around there while the rest vacated for the safe and equally exclusive but far less snobby climes of the Glebe. Rockcliffe Park was full of upper middle class and upper class types who liked to practice looking down their noses at people. The lake that we had discovered was, indeed, in Rockcliffe Park.

My mother and I were not Rockcliffe Park people. No, as she was a single mother and a lowly government clerk, we were pretty much the other end of the social and economic scale from Rockcliffe Park people. We lived in a house that I considered normal at the time in Gloucester, a three-bedroom townhome in a complex that housed scientists and workers from the nearby National Research Council headquarters and others who wanted affordable housing a good distance from Ottawa’s downtown. Our bike ride to Hemlock Lake took a good 30 minutes.

We ditched our bikes on the shore and got into the water. It was a perfect day, about plus 30 celsius. Perfect for swimming. I still remember the bathing suit I was wearing, a small red bikini with a gold anchor wheel on the belt. I was a cute child with blue eyes and long gold curls, just splashing in and enjoying the water. Everything was perfect until a group of swimmers got into the water on the other side of the small lake from us. A couple of them swam over, even though the distance was enough that it required some effort to do so.

“You have to leave. There is no trespassing on this lake”. One of the men declared, staring daggers at my mother while saying it. I was shocked. I looked up, my eyes wide at the missive of this stranger. I started swimming for the shore and our bikes, believing that he may have been correct. I was stopped by my mothers voice.

“The law says that you can’t own the lake. We have every right to swim here.” I suspected that my mother had known, whether through a sign that had escaped my attention or otherwise, that we would face some trouble. At the time I thought she was just trying to be brave, but as an adult I realize she was correct. All water is considered to be crown land and every individual has a right to swim in any natural Canadian lake.

“Look lady, people pay a lot of money to live here. That’s why you and your kid have to go now.” I decided that I should get into the fray with the rest of them at that point.

“Really mister, we just want to swim here today. We’ll go home and we won’t come back again, I don’t really want to swim in the same lake as a jerk like you anyway.” I piped up in my precocious eight-year-old cherubic voice.

The man was somewhat taken aback by this. Another woman had by this point swam across the lake, and was encouraging the two men who had swam over to us to leave it be and come back. He wasn’t having any of it. He stammered and said something to the effect of “you have to go now.”

I turned around and looked him dead in the eye. “What will you do to us if we don’t leave?” I asked.

“I’ll call the police!” He yelled, his ears turning red at this point.

“Go ahead and call the police on a kid swimming in a lake, mister.” I said. “I’m sure they’ll be here right away.” My mother was smiling throughout the whole exchange, and we swam away from the group, back towards our bikes. We didn’t get out of the water until they had swam back across the lake and they were going in themselves, about an hour later. As we got back on our bikes to leave, I asked my mother “Why didn’t they want us to swim here, Mom?”

“Some people think they are better than other people for different reasons; they think they are better than us because they can afford to live here and we can’t.”

I thought about that for a long time. It was an encounter that stayed with me for the rest of my life. I didn’t stay very long in classist, provincial Ottawa, choosing instead to migrate to Southern Ontario, where the people tended to act the same for the most part whether your dad was a mechanic or a vice-president at a major bank. Every time I go back, I take a drive down the Rockcliffe Parkway to see the same scenic sights I used to see from my bike seat, and to remind myself of why I will never move back there again.

Which of these categories do you fall into?

The Helpful Commentor
This person points out mistakes with varying degrees of hostility. At the helpful end of the sliding scale, they are really trying to help you out by correcting something. At the other end of same scale, they are telling you in no uncertain terms that they could have done it better than you while outlining exactly how.

Hi There:

A couple of years ago, Hamilton Health Sciences saved the life of my partner through chemotherapy, radiation and a successful surgery to minimize and remove a cancerous tumour.

Now I see one will be speaking on your behalf in April, as evidenced by this Toronto Star article:

http://www.thestar.com/news/ontario/article/737482–palin-works-the-circuit-all-the-way-to-hamilton

When my partner and I were doing better financially, it was our hope that we could start donating a percentage of our earnings to the Juravinski Cancer Centre, a division of HHS. If you do not cancel Sarah Palin’s appearance, we will never donate to your organization.

There must be legions of better speakers that you can get for a fundraiser. What about Bill Clinton? David Suzuki? How about anyone but Sarah Palin?

Are you aware that Sarah Palin told the “This Hour Has 22 Minutes” crew that Canada should privatize its health care? If you don’t believe me, watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4DEuRMigtc

I can’t support an organization that supports someone who embodies ideals that are so completely antithetical to Canadian values. I hope that you reverse your decision.

Best Regards,

Angela West