A Bit of My Life » Our Recommendation: Never Date Another Human Being

Our Recommendation: Never Date Another Human Being

Spurred on by television ads, I thought it would be funny to see what kind of mooks E-Harmony matched me with. Sure, I’m in a relationship, but if I wanted to cheat I’d just go on CraigsList like the rest of the free world, so calm down honey. This was just a social experiment to see how dorky the service was.

There I was, answering questions in my smugness, 100% confident that my answers would match me up with a bitchy Japanese investment banker who had a lo gui fetish. Little did I know that…

E-Harmony was bang on. Check it out:

They got it completely right. This is even considering that I chose to include Toronto in my geographical area, a city of millions of selfish dorks that should have matched with my self-centered, over-confident and overweight answers. They are basically telling me to get the hell out of their pool so that they don’t get nasty letters from subscribers about me. And who can blame them? They obviously GOT INSIDE MY HEAD.

So to all of my single friends, I say run, don’t walk, to eharmony.com. There’s no doubt that they will match you up exactly with who you should be with for the rest of your life. To all my non-single friends, lets slide over to Craigslist and see what these people are doing Friday night… yeah baby, give me some of that sugar and the free mini-bar.

Posted: May 16th, 2008 under Love.
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Our Recommendation: Never Date Another Human Being

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